Sagala today. It's on the news. 
We didn't join, our concept was not chosen. sad.
I was so jealous of those who were able to join.
People wore costumes and they had floats which were really nice.
It was fun, though we ended up cleaning the bel-field for plus points.
Our teacher was really nice, she gave us free dinner for helping. haha
----
We watched JUNO today at Kurt's.
It's really nice. I like the movie.
I'm sure what happened to her is NOT happening to me. haha
Ellen Page nailed the role. 
Hello, that's why she was nominated for an Oscar. 
Hope she wins. I'd like to see her win. 
----
Going home to Pampanga tomorrow. Yey.
I'll be meeting someone. haha.
I'll be watching my brother compete again. 
----
Oh, we have intact tomorrow. 
which sucks like hell.
It's this exposure trip thing.
I know it'll be fun, but I'd have to wake up early,
For a lazy person like me, It's not a good thing.
----
I'm ending this.
Too Tired To Type.
----
Getting Closer. haha
 

It's holy week. Oh men! How time flies. Anyway. Lately, I haven't been sad.
 Actually, I'm starting to feel nothing. And I don't know how that's happened. 
Maybe I just got busy that I forgot to miss those people I used blog about. 
haha. 
My friend, she's inlove right now, and she's unsure, she's going nuts about how she's feeling. 
But she told me that how she's feeling, the uncertainty, the going nuts and all is better than what I' m feeling.
What am I feeling anyway? 
NOTHING! 
and I LIKE IT
I really don't get myself. (laughs)
SEE, I JUST LAUGH ABOUT IT!
hahaha. make sense? hahaha.
We have a paper in Lit., a poem analysis thing, due on monday,
Guess what, I'm done! I didn't cram! 
It's about this dark poem.
 though I do NOT like dark things, I liked it,
maybe because it's poetry and I love poetry.
I consider myself a poet you know. 
I've written a good number of poems and songs already,
I'll post some one day, when I'm not lazy enough to go online. hahah
I'm not that good though, but my works are considerably TOLERABLE.
Anyway, this poem by Dylan somebody, 
for me is about "the death of innocence."
Everyone's given this innocence but as we grow older we loose it.
We are sent in this dark world and this innocence is our light and it grows weaker as we age, 
until one day it dies and we begin to see things in a different light, 
in the DARK.
 hahaha. pretty deep huh. hahaha. I bled my brains out.
I had fun. 
In a weird way.

In the darkness, be the light.
Yeah! I will be! hahahahah

***Don't get me wrong, about the part where I said I feel nothing, 
I do, just nothing out of the ordinary.
I will always love people who matter.
---
I just can't love them more than they love me anymore.
---
Got lots to do you know.  

It's 2008 already! 
I haven't been faithful to this account. hahah. 
I should change. hahah. 
Anyway, I ain't got no new year's resolution.
I'm sad that the Holidays are over.
I had the most "Adult" christmas last year(2007).
I got presents, but not on Christmas day anymore,
I bought my presents after Christmas which sucks for me.
I was sooo used to getting gifts from Santa under the tree every year.
Even when I was in Fourth Year High school already, 
I'd get presents on Christmas morning from Santa.
Yeah, I'm childish. 
I like it.  hahaha

Anyway, bye holidays. 
Hello, school.

This year I'll be under the knife, twice.
This year I'll be better, I'll be more.
This year I'll be fearless.
This year I will  make things happen.
Anyway, when did I let anything stop me. hahaha

This year I'll be growing up.

hahaha.


This year I'll wake up.

I'll do something.

I guess, I'm just done dreaming.

hahah

It's going to be a hard year,
but I don't care. :)
 

Today was a fun day, 
why?
because it's FRIDAY! hahahahaha
kidding.
Anyway, I really love fridays, something nice always happens.
Here's what happened today.


**In School**
I went to school to submit my stupid, anorexic, dizzy, dumb, crappy english paper. haha.
 I met up with my ES groupmates, we printed and submitted our flyer about mangroves. haha.
We waited for Sarah in sec walk, she came bringing her and toons' gifts to us.
They gave us shirts, each of us. haha. our official block D shirt. 
The print was so cool!! 
"WE ARE
'D'
BLOCK"
and it was black. hahah. i love it.
We agreed that we all wear it on Jan. 7. 
First class day for 2008. haha


**After School**
I went to Shang with Baus, Kurt and Bea. 
My first time in Shangrila Plaza, the mall hah. 
I've stayed in Edsa Shangrila a couple of times already. hahahah
Baus was looking for something to wear to someone i don't know's debut,
Bea, I think was looking for something i don't remember what. haha
Kurt, was Christmas shopping with his family.
I was shoe searching again.. (Gola Hunting! WUHU!)(Dress code! BUHU!)
We ate Lunch at the office of Bea's mom.
Kurt treated us yum yum ice cream. 
We went trying out things we didn't buy. 
Basically, we went around and around and around the mall. hahaha
I saw Dingdong Dantes again, last time I saw him I was 9, he was playing basketball in Clark.
all I can say is He got old. hahahahaha
I had soo much fun! Shocks! Kurt and Baus were cracking awfully funny jokes.
JGSOM and KCSOH
KCSOH-- Kurt Cendana School of Humanities. hahaha.
Victoria's Secret and Intimately Andoy
 Intimately Andoy-- Baus, Bea and My Lingerie Line for the Masang Pilipino !
hahahaha.. 
Anyway, I went home by train.
the LRT is FAR better than the MRT.
I went to mass for the 7th time.
haha.

I guess that's it. 
I had a blast! 
The Shirt, Shang, the friends and all others. hahaha
Tomorrow officially starts my xmas vacation.
Going Home.
I'll miss my blockmates!
I'll miss this joint!
hahaha.



**No more less than you.**
hahah.
I'm done doing it.
not worth it.
buhbye bitch.



 

Have you noticed? i didn't post anything here for a week.. Haha. Last friday, I thought hell week was over, guess what it just started again last Monday. My crappy English teacher gave us another paper, actually it was just the continuation of the paper last week, but much harder and heavier. 
Anyway here's what happened during the week:

Dec. 17- Monday
All my classes were FREECUT! I hate it, because if I knew earlier, I could've taken the bus monday afternoon.
But it's okay though, because I also had to meet with my groupmates in ES (freida bea, kurt and baus) about the Flyer project thing, then we ate at Kurt's place. haha. 

Dec. 18- Tuesday
Went to Class. 
Math sucked! 
Fil. was fun!
Spent the rest of the day doing my freaky paper in english. 

Dec. 19- Wednesday
I was supposed to go to uste's Paskuhan, but because of my stupid paper i wasn't able to. 
KC and I went to Gateway, she did some Christmas shopping and i helped her out. 
I was also shoe searching. hahahahaha.
Oh yeah, I bought my xmas gift to KC already. We were at Fully Booked, 
then she showed me this book she really really liked, I asked her if she wanted it for xmas, 
she said yes, so we bought it, just like that. hahaha,.. It was kind of expensive so i 
payed only half of the price, kc payed the other half. :)

Dec. 20- Thursday
I passed my first Math long exam! YEY! 
My fil. essay was too long, and i had soooo many deductions.
What can I do, I had so much to say. haha.
I did my paper until 1 am. haha.

*Friday's always different and special, so i'll be posting another entry about friday. hahah.
*I've been attending mass at Gesu ( "Simbang Gabi") with KC. I have not yet missed a mass. Every year I
   complete the nine morning/evening masses. haha. kinda my tradition. haha. It's been fun. 

**Guess what, I started not to care. (haha)

It just pierced me again. Damn. I'm sick of It.
Being stuck here, thinking too much again. 
Thinking about It again and how i was once again caught.
It is just so confusing. I'm trapped on It again.
again and again and again.
I want to go, but It makes it so hard for me.
I want to stay, but I make it so hard for me.
I can't take It anymore, but I can't imagine things without It.
It was nothing. It used to be nothing, 
I can't get it why It has become this defect, this addiction, 
that makes me fall somewhere without a surface,
that makes me fail and feel and freeze everything.
I suck with It. It sucks with me.
But I can't live without It.
Though It is gone.
I still want It, look for It, 
live for it.
It will always be.
It will be the only.



[ It- is a person. I will never tell you who It is.]

*I think I'm a bit drunk. :)
*Christmas is really here. haha. yey.
*I attended two christmas parties today. haha. 
*I ate too much. 

--the first one was at my blockmate's house, our block's christmas party. Their house is HUGE, i even got lost inside. kidding. haha. In their bathroom they had this custom made liquid soap "The Abello Family Soap".. It's soo cool.. I 
had pure fun. I Took a couple of shots, forgetting the fact that i have ulcer and i will later this evening have to suffer gastric pain . hahaha. I was kinda wild, not  because of  the alcohol, but because I'm naturally wild and crazy. hahah. I bonded with blockmates i don't get to see and talk to everyday, it's sooo fun fooling around with them. haha. We had kind of an "exchange gift", i got kurt, but he didn't attend, so i just gave him his gift earlier (the gift was a book he really really wanted), i guess no one got me, because i didn't receive anyrthing. it's ok though. Oh yeah, kurt gave me a gift eventhough he was not the one who got me, so thanks kurt. we went home early in the evening and i rushed to the second christmas party of the day, My dorm's xmas party. It was ok, but it was kinda boring, there was a band and "panda bear" was the lead singer and he was singing so loud that he destroyed the melody of the songs(hahah), so i just went up to my room. I'd rather die of boredom than listen to that arrogant over confident beastly fungi-faced panda bear. hate him.

*Hell week is over. hahah. I'm so excited to go home on saturday, missed pampanga. hahaha.
*top model 9 is over in the states, it's not yet showing here. such a sad thing. haha. friday night lights started tonight!
  i watched it! Yeah. it's finally tim and layla!!! love them.

                                                                                      
**I'm dreaming big!

"suddenly i see, 
this is what i want to be.."

"Get rich or die trying" 
-50 cent .

"Get drunk or die wasted"
-andoydroids.
hahah.
yeah.

i'm so fucked up tonight. This is my first ever entry. haha. Here's the thing, I hate blogging! (uhm..so, what am i doing again?). It's 2 am and I have classes tomorrow morning yet i'm still not sleepy. haha. KC made me read the trashy things she wrote about me when we were still enemies, they were really mean but I didn't get hurt, it's actually hilarious for me, i dunno why but i felt like i was looking at an old ugly photo of myself in highschool. Sometimes i forget how mean i was, i admit that i used to be the most notorious, wasted, backstabbing bitch in highschool. Just reading the things KC and some others wrote about me makes me feel guilty, ah men. Reading the bad things though gave me something good, i just realized after everything i was(a bitch) and everything i've done, they're still here. Now that makes me guilty-er than ever, at the same time, makes me feel sooo grateful i that have these people.  Gosh, I miss them. I'm so nostalgic right now. ahaha. I have always blamed someone for the things that happened in high school, i forgot the fact that i also gave a big contribution and i apologize for that. Back then I always thought i knew my friends, i thought i knew how much they meant to me, but i guess i didn't know at all, until now, when it's all over. They were there even when i wasn't. haha.

Anyway, i feel bad, i think the jealousy bug bit me again. I just don't  know why this is happening to me. I still live in that  fucking fantasy land. I know it's over, it's obvious, it's gone. It sucks cause i had it and i threw it away. And what sucks more is i want it back. I can't move on. It's crap, missing something that does not miss you back. Here's the thing, one day, i'll get tired of missing it. I'll just quit. soon.

This is really long huh? Enough with sad things, this is the happy part. I just want to say thank you to my roommate. I guess things really happen for reasons we find only when it has happened. Sometimes the worst person in highschool for you is the person who changed your life forever. hahahaha. and the fun part is, you get to be roommates in college.. hahahah. sounds family. hahahaha.. and you get the chance to patch up the times lost because of misunderstandings. I guess that's it for tonight, it's morning already though. haha. i'm sorry for the bullshit. hahaha. you must forgive me, it's my first time. haha

**keep on being here though you're not there anymore. 

former spawn of the devil bitch outta this joint.